The Strange and Mundane World of Molly Cule

(TRANSCRIPT)

WAKE UP AUSTRALIA (SYDNEY EDITION)

11th August 2008, 10:41am

INFOMERCIAL: DOGGIEROBICS

HOST: HELEN-MARIEE SINCLAIR

GUEST: TIFFANY SPOKES-WINTON (& FIFI)

HOST: And next up, have you ever wondered how to keep your four-legged friend in top shape? Throw a ball in the backyard? What if, like many of us these days, you haven’t got the space? Well, our next guest has come up with the perfect solution, so let’s welcome Tiffany Spokes-Winton and Fifi!

(applause)

HOST: Hi Tiffany. (bends down to pat FiFi) Awww, hello you! Aren’t you gorgeous! So, Tiffany, can you tell us about Doggierobics? What’s it all about?

GUEST: Certainly Helen-Mariee. Well, I’m a dog person, as you probably can tell. I love dogs. I grew up with dogs. I couldn’t live without dogs. But, you know, I just found poor FiFi wasn’t getting all the exercise she could, you know, in my little flat and we went for walks and stuff but she was always, like, trying to get in my handbag rather than run around and she was starting to get, you know, a little on the heavy size for a toy poodle like her . . .

HOST: Oh yes, and she’s such a teeny tiny little thing too, isn’t she?

GUEST: Oh I know! She’s so dainty, I just love her to bits. Anyway, I started doing some research and got a lot of experts involved, you know, like Doga practitioners . . . 

HOST: Doga, that’s yoga for dogs, right?

GUEST:  Yes, that’s correct. So we got Doga practitioners on board, holistic dog experts, FiFi and I went over to LA where they’re doing some incredible things for dogs, you know, dogs in big cities with busy lifestyles, and, like, we came up with this fantastic new program called Doggierobics.

HOST: That sounds great, Tiffany. Now, I understand that it’s a work out for both you and your dog?

GUEST: Totally. We’ve combined both a dog work out with a human work out so you’re really multitasking. It’s great for people, you know, who are like really busy and this way you can exercise your dog and yourself at the same time! We offer other programs as well and we have a little boutique in the studio with all sorts of designer gear for your dog so it’s like a one-stop-shop!

HOST: That’s a fantastic idea! And where are you at now with Doggierobics?

GUEST: Well, we now have a complete thirty minute work out program available at our studio, Dogs with Bods, and we’re also offering Doga and Aromatherapy for Dogs and a Nutritionist for obese dogs who want to keep trim, so, you know, we’ve got so many bases covered.

HOST: Sounds like doggie-heaven! And we’ve just got the details on screen now for anyone interested. And can any breed of dog do doggierobics?

GUEST: We’ve mostly designed it around toy dogs and small dogs, you know, the kind of dogs that fit in places with not a lot of space so they need more of a hand to keep fit.

HOST: So no St. Bernards then?

GUEST: (laughing) No, definitely not!

HOST: Ok, now you’re all in your aerobics gear and we’ve got some floorspace set up for you over here, can you give us a demonstration?

GUEST: Sure! 

HOST: (as GUEST and DOG prepare) I just love how FiFi matches your outfit. She’s such a gorgeous baby pink.

GUEST: I know! She is so adorable in pink! (to DOG) Aren’t you Baby? Aren’t you so adorable in pink? (to HOST) Alright, I think we’re ready! Can we get some music?

HOST: Oh yes. Hit it!

(loud techno plays. GUEST & DOG enact a series of movements where GUEST lifts her own legs while stretching DOG up on two legs and pulling paws. DOG yelps and GUEST indicates to stop.)

HOST: Oh, dear, looks like FiFi’s in a bit of trouble there. Maybe pulled a doggie-hammie . . .(DOG yelps/screams and limps; GUEST looks panicked) Ah, I think maybe we ought to leave it there . . . we’ll be back with WAKE UP AUSTRALIA right after this break! (DOG collapses and GUEST screams; quick cut away to morning park scene with logo)

(AD BREAK)

HOST: Well, wasn’t that fun? FiFi was . . . I mean, is such a little cutie. And just for those who missed it, the details for the Doggierobics studio are . . .