The Strange and Mundane World of Molly Cule

I haven’t updated for a while so I’m going to go on a little ramble . . . I’m bored, and probably by the end of reading this, you will be too. Ahh, togetherness!

I got me some presents down at the post office today – Ebay is a dangerous thing. I finally found somewhere that sells Gothic Lolita stuff in *real people* sizes. You don’t know how happy that makes me (albeit on a completely superficial and smug level). In fact, most of my clothes shopping is now done on Ebay, to the point where I now keep a tape measure by the computer. People who know me know that shopping for clothes is one of my pet hates – there is nothing worse than trying to squeeze into something that’s tagged L or 16 that’s really a size 12, dealing with the harsh lights and blaring music and the over-manicured teenage stickfigures that look you up and down like you’re morbidly obese before telling you they don’t think they have anything in your size. It just leaves me feeling bitter, miserable and full of self-loathing, and no one should ever have to feel like that in their own skin. And the places that actually have interesting clothes that fit me? There is no way I could afford them or justify the expenditure. I’ve found stuff on Ebay for $25 – $40 I would have paid $100 or more in the shops. Fuck that. 

So yeah, I got clothes and I also got tea. Tea is my one main weakness and one of the few things I will actually splash out on. There is very little else that beats the feeling you get with the first mouthful of a well-brewed, good cup of tea (leaf, not bag). That sounds like some kind of cheesy promotional slogan for some teahouse, but it’s so true. No matter how shit I’m feeling, it really does make me feel a more human. In my pursuit of this addiction, I currently have around 30 different varieties of tea in stock at the moment, black, green, rooibos and herbal; today I got Earl Grey & Cream (Earl Grey with vanilla and caramel – really, really nice), honey and ginger black tea, a black tea blend for work (Bren’s Blend – supposedly an afternoon tea with bergamot, but I haven’t tried it yet), and refreshed my Refresh tea (a herbal tea with lemongrass, mint, and a few other things. Really good for waking up!). I’d love another cup now but I know it’ll keep me up. I’ve been so good and made it to work on time two days in a row now (shame about the sickie I chucked on Monday but I needed it).

Speaking of work, we’ve been invaded by Triffids. Well, not really. Plastic plants/trees, but they way they are moving around our building they may as well be. It started yesterday when one plastic ornamental tree was found in the lifts: this was stolen by one of our bosses and placed at one of our senior sergeant’s desks. Every time you’d look into his office to see if he was there, you were confronted by this tree at his computer. Things got a little crazier by late afternoon, when someone rang our reception doorbell. Any humans in the vicinity must have already been devoured, because one of the plastic Triffids was up against our reception door, blocking access to the office with one lurking ominously behind it in the lift lobby. Whoever rang our bell was not to be seen.

It all escalated today. It had to; I was bored. The lurking tree from the lift lobby had been moved into our reception area – it now has a scary face (courtesy of PowerPoint’s drawing objects) sitting in its foliage right at eye level, ready to eat/greet any visitors to our office. I put that on after the majority of the office had gone home so I’m keen to see how long it will be before anyone notices.

But the crowning glory is the plastic plant that was glaring in our doors after everyone had left yesterday; by today, it had found its way back into the lifts and had been riding them to the amusement of all for most of the day. I thought it was lonely, so I gave it a sign – again, courtesy of PowerPoint – that read “Hi! I’m a plant and I am lost. Will you be my friend?” This kept us giggling for a few minutes, but then we started to realise how lax the security is in our building: this plant had been sneaking around the building (probably eating people) for two whole days without a security pass! That had to be fixed . . . and again crappy Power Point graphics saved the day. Now, the tree was Detective Senior Constable Will O’Tree from the Special Branch, complete with official lanyard and barcode so he could get through the security scanners (I forgot to put the police logo on there or give him a registered number, but oh well. He did get a crappy clip-art tree identity photo, though!). He kept riding the lifts, eating people for a few more hours after that (his victims obviously lulled by his identity pass) but sadly he had moved on by lunch time. Who knows where he might be lurking now? 

And so, on that note . . . sleep tight, children

EDIT: Some weird blog search engine thing just pinged me with this, ah, paraphrased extract on this entry it’s posted.

“I finally found somewhere that sells Gothic … bitter, miserable and full of self-loathing. … Really good for waking up!). I’d love another”

I don’t know what sort of summery algorithm programmy thing they’re using, but they completely missed the triffids out! Although, in a way it’s almost like Dadaist poetry or something. “Gothic bitter: The beer that’ll make you feel miserable and full of self-loathing” Thank goodness I’ve finally found somewhere that sells that beer! I just had one and it’s really woken me up but god, I could really go another on right now . . . hehehe