Ways to Ruin my Day
So I hadn’t had much sleep last night and I’m running late to work, but that’s ok, nothing unusual. I get in, check my email, and there’s a few forwards from one of my bosses. Again, nothing unusual. One warns about card skimmers at ATMs,all very useful stuff, and the other seems to be something about birds so I click on it.
There’s a picture of a jet engine with holes all through it. A few more shots of planes with big holes. This should have been enough information to tell me to CLOSE THE DAMN EMAIL. But I had to look, didn’t I? I skimmed through a few more, each getting more bloody and brutal with cormorants smashed against windscreens and blood coming through control panels.
Then I saw the owl, and I just lost it.
Now, I’m a bird person. Some people are cat people, some like dogs, some like reptiles or fish or dolphins or giraffes or elephants. Me, I like all animals but I especially like birds. I love birds. I get birds, birds make more sense to me than most people, and I really have a soft spot for parrots, corvids . . . and owls.
I love owls. I even have one tattooed on my leg. And seeing one gorgeous big, dark-grey owl contorted and embedded in a jet engine was really not how I wanted to start my day.
Please keep your owls in a non-smashed-up condition
I lost it. I don’t even know why. I’m not even the emotional type. To make things worse, I was on reception so every time someone came past my desk they’d ask if I was ok and I’d lose it again (being a redhead, I don’t hide crying very well). It took me most of the morning to compose myself and I’ve felt horrible all day, like my body was filled with a venom I couldn’t discharge and all I wanted was a nice, big G&T and a lie down. My supervisor went and had a quiet word to the boss over it (i.e., Molly doesn’t want to see pictures of smashed up animals, thanks), and I know he didn’t mean any harm (we’ve got a few ex-RAF/RAAF members in the office who’d be interested in aviation stuff) but still . . . that poor owl . . .
(disclaimer – I’m not squeamish. I’ve got a strong stomach and a sound head on me. I’ve worked in areas dealing with deceased people and seen (and smelt) all sorts of things, but damn it, I can’t stand seeing animals come to harm. And yes, I did snorgle my budgies when I got home, and yes, it did help.)
NaNoWriMo Day 30 – And this sucker is DONE!
Going berserk, literary-style
I know it’s been a while, but to be honest with you, I haven’t had much of a life these last few weeks. Tonight, after much toiling, many hissy-fits and many very late nights, I past 50,000 words with barely three hours to spare until pens down. NaNoWriMo 08 is over. I can have my life back again . . . well, almost, anyway. I spent the morning sewing costumes and had dress rehearsal all afternoon and I really didn’t know if I’d get that last 1,000 words in but I did, they’re there and I have the nice little winner image to look at like it means something.
As far as the work itself goes, well, it sucks. The story got incredibly stodgy after so much major drama happened in the beginning before petering off into an extended anti-climax of main character angst. It sounds silly, I know, but I found losing Rubi really hard and that really brought me down creatively. Once past that, the story picked up but still it wasn’t right: despite some good gains in word count, I still couldn’t get entirely in the flow and lose myself in it like I had in previous years. Tonight I had an epiphany around 7pm (thanks for that, brain) on how to fix the plot without starting from the ground up again, but it would involving too much rejigging to start now. Despite the suckiness of it, I think with second drafting this one could really go somewhere, especially if I leave the angst at the door, work in the revenge plot and just add a whole lot more sass to it that only started to evolve in the last week.
What else did I learn this year? NaNoWriMo and social life don’t really mix. It’s a harsh reality but a true one – I tried to be a bit more balanced life-wise this year and keep in touch with people but after a fortnight it was clear that it just wasn’t going to work. My brain can’t handle switching off from novel-mode and switching onto friend-mode. To tap into that deep subconscious flow where the words just flow out and the plot all comes together, I really have to go it alone.
And discipline. I guess that goes hand-in-hand with the above, but I definitely know I pissed around a lot more this year and my writing definitely suffered. It started to get to the point where I just loathed what I was writing, so instead of writing it back to being good again I just avoided it, making it worse. So next year, the hypothetical whip is out again and I’m working hard for my writing.
So what now? Getting through my concert is the next thing on the list (costumes, rehearsals, so many little things still to organise . . .), and after Christmas I’m going to try to get across to Adelaide to see my grandparents and maybe take some time out for myself on the way home, then I’m going to get my flat ready for another bunny. I miss Rubi so much, and I thought about getting a pair of rats as they’re easier to look after but there are so many bunnies in the shelters I can’t justify getting rats from a breeder when there are rabbits out there in dire need of a home.
Oh yeah, and my NaNo reward – my next tattoo! Stay tuned for details . . .
